Recently went into a Xtian supply store. For some reason, those crazy zombie cultists need suppliers, like heroin junkies. It seems that most of the "supplies" they need are books and cheap trinkets. I found a book called "Wicca: Satan's Little White Lie" and another that claimed Pokemon steals the souls of children. I guess Nintendo is cutting into the church racket. I find this rather odd, since I played through Pokemon: Sapphire and I don't recall it asking for my worship and devotion once. Cockfighting, yes; slavish servitude, no. At least, it never demanded anything outright.

I've long since been a purveyor of unconvincing religious pamplets and was surprised to find a revolving retail sales rack of Chick tracts. They had them for sale singly and in wrapped bulk packs, just in case you need exactly 25 copies of 'Good Old Boys,' the pamplet that explains how Freemasons worship the Devil. According to 'Party Girl,' Satan himself tends bar in New Orleans, horns, Anton LaVey goatee and all, spiking drinks with quick-acting fatal poisons. It seems he does it to get revenge on aging Xtians and killing their vacationing kids is the best possible way to go about it.

By the way, Satan is personally in charge of India, where his demons gleefully order poor people to slaughter anyone who uses the word "Jesus" in a sentence. I guess he does it when it's not Happy Hour in Louisiana. The milf behind the counter seemed pretty out of it and I could sense a certain air of subjugated desperation to her. It was tempting to hit on her, but she was also obviously homeschooling her kid and was far too busy to suck cock over by the parenting videos with titles like "Assuring Your Child's Virginity." Oddly enough, the saint to protect against death by artillery(Barbara) that Bruce42 mentioned is also one of the many saints that watch over brewers.

Comments

bruce42
Sun, 10/16/2005 - 12:29
POKEMON was BIRTHED In HELL!!
Spectacular.

The big problem with Pokemon is its subtle suggestions & images manipulating the minds & feelings of children.

Wow. A spectacularly shallow observation if I've ever seen one. I wonder if this person's head would explode if they were suddenly made to realize that our immersion in a consumer culture continuously bombards with these "subtle suggestions"? Of course, it doesn't end there; isn't language itself a tool of "subtle suggestion"? And so, the real "big problem" is unrestricted human interaction. Right?

I love examples of rampant crime waves caused by this insidious game. Of course, the game is not at all to blame; it is obviously consumer culture at work; I can't wait for these silly misdirected Xtians to realize their mistakes and start bombing Marketing Firms. After all, isn't that what Jesus would do? You know, I wonder how many of these suddenly pious conspiracy nuts spent small child-fortunes on things like Matchbox Cars, Barbie Dolls or G.I. Joe Action Figures and Playsets?
"Your mission is to obey the commands of whoever is able to strike the Master Key of Electricity... I once read in a book that all things are regulated by exact laws of nature" - SPAM